Second Commandment: use your brain based on the book The Ten Commandments of Dating, written by Dr. Samuel Adams and Ben Young
Many undertake the adventure of knowing your partner with the desillusion of romantic love, romantic love has unfortunately little to do with the true love.Is a desilution to believe that love is just a feeling or emotion, is a decision that involves thinking very well who will be our partner in life.
The real love (agape) is a form of love demonstrated by 2 people who care deeply about each other and are occupied by the other's welfare. Romantic and true love are distinct conditions. Is the decition to seek the good of others, no matter what. The Agape includes: Education, support, encouragement, acceptance and companionship.
Do you value the Romance? Yes, the romance and passion enhance the relationship but not the base.
Proponents of romantic love can interfere with the ability to use your brain: emotions, hormons, and false spiritual directions.
a. - Dating Driven By Emotions .- When are guided by what they feel. Both feel like he or she has no equal, get married without knowing of their families, friends, customs etc. But after getting divorced, it is dangerous to marry based on love at first sight, second sight enables you to think clearly if the right person.
b. - Dating Powered by hormones .- The sex drive is "void" your brain, when they wake up the brain hormone is zero, your brain starts to fall, this process takes 20 min. in women and 3 seconds in man.
I remember the case of a young married because their partner did so completely happy sexually, but this changed in the marriage, she ended up thinking that used sexual attraction to bring to marriage.
c. - Dating Driven by the false guidance of the Spirit .- There are people who spiritualize their courtship, using base: God told us to get married. ¨ God gave me a word ¨ It is clear that if God speaks, you should talk to two people. A false prophetic word, a dream where you see they get married. For those seeking direction for the marriage, they are given direction but not manipulation.
Lest you dash, refrain from:
- Physical Intimacy: Avoid touching, kissing and sex, will not push you hormones if not the reason.
- Includes one in the process of knowing: There is nothing better to know a person than knowing your friends and family, the flirtation process is common to place masks that trick.
- Test your knowledge: Think coolly if the relationship is healthy or not, who thinks that things can change in an almost magical end up disappointed.
- Keep the balance between mind and your heart: Do not let your emotions control you, nor rationalize all things, maintaining the balance is na wise decision.
If physical contact began to dominate you and do not bother to continue to build emotional intimacy, to follow knowing you're facing a danger, speeding is what causes accidents.
To build a lasting relationship:
- Analyze your past relationships and learn from your mistakes: There are wounds from past relationships, traumas and prejudices, every relationship is different, you can not shut you down for something that happened.
- Include others in the process of knowing, listen to the views of people who love you, hear their warnings, not just get carried away by your emotions.
- Do not overlook opportunities to make assessments, getting caught up in your emotions will bring you a great pity.
- Review the Pros and Cons of your relationship: Place your relationship on a scale and carefully examine whether it is worth and will be something lasting.
- Refrain from physical intimacy, the more we refrain from physical contact, more special is when they are truly united, this will help build a true friendship. To be physically affectionate, especially when you start with the sexual, the friendship suffers and sometimes falls apart.
Consequences of disobeying this command:
You will be disappointed to discover major flaws in your partner.
You'll feel abandon @ by God because He "allowed you to" enter into that relationship.
You'll feel uncomfortable embarrassed by not realize from the beginning.
BENEFITS obey this command:
Know make wise decisions.
